Signs

By Aynsley Saxe

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, there is another layer to this world that you can’t see?

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe your rational mind has said to you, more than once, “not a chance”, “science rules”, “everything true must be proven”. I listened for a while to the banter of my logical mind. But I’m not convinced anymore. There have been too many signs, too many messages, too many strange coincidences in my life and random acts of synchronicity for me to believe that logic has all the answers. Or at least logic as most of it understand it.

The other day I was watching “Deal or No Deal” while on the treadmill at the gym. It’s completely mindless television (and there are a ridiculous amount of commercials) but I rationalize the indulgence by convincing myself that at least I’m doing something productive like burning calories while watching the show. It’s disheartening to admit: I’m a game show producer’s dream target audience. I get totally enraptured contemplating the contestant’s winning potential. Sometimes I even shout when someone’s won a lot of money or I’ll let out a big “Oooooooh!!!” if they’ve come close to winning and then bust. So far I haven’t been asked to quiet down at the gym but please don’t take me to Vegas.

Normally the show is a roller coaster ride of watching the contestant’s hopes sky rocket, drop, pick up pace and then plummet again, but the show I watched the other day was unique. A retired U.S. army official was on the platform with a chance to win $500,000. He said to the host, Howie Mandel, that he’d had a profound dream the other night. He had a dream that he was on the show. And in his dream he saw clearly the number 11.

Because of his dream, at the beginning of the show the contestant decided to switch his case (#19) for Case #11, believing that inside the case was $500,000, the most money you can win during the show. Near the end of the game there were three cases left to open and the $500,000 had not been disqualified. The contestant had the possibility of winning $1, $75,000 or $500,000. My pulse was racing – not just from the treadmill!

During the final minutes, the contestant renounced his case and settled on the offer to walk away happily with $136,000 in his pocket. Then Howie asked him to open his case. As his dream of the number 11 depicted, in his case was $500,000. With wide eyes we were all thinking what Howie said: “Dreams really do come true!”

At a wedding I went to a year ago the DJ played the wrong song for the bride, my friend, to walk down the aisle to. Her father had passed away a few years earlier and my friend had been feeling sad, wishing he was at the ceremony. When “Hey Jude” bellowed across the speakers, the bride was shocked and then started laughing. This was the same song that her father’s alarm clock played and she immediately felt comforted. No one, including the DJ, knew how that song ended up being the one he played but the bride remarked during her wedding speech that it truly “was no accident”.

Have you experienced signs? Have you experienced a coincidence that you could pass off as “just a coincidence” but somewhere in the back of your mind you feel like there might be more to the equation?

When I want an answer, help or guidance, I ask the universe for a sign. I’ve found that it’s best to be focused and clear about exactly what I want help with. If I’m paying attention, the answer usually comes quickly. But it never comes in a way I expect and usually it comes when I least expect it. Sometimes a song comes on the radio, or someone will say something that hits me in an unexpected way. At times I’ll be drawn to picking a book off a shelf or I’ll receive a significant email. Always, the answer comes in a way that is loving and helpful.

The world is talking to you on levels you can hear. Enjoy the signs! Enjoy the messages! Ask. Listen. Receive.

Processes for Reflection:

What do you want help with? Do you have a decision to make? Would you like extra guidance in a certain area of your life? Write down a clear question that you would sincerely like answered. State your request out loud and intend that you receive an answer from the universe (you don’t have to be around anyone).

Watch for signs. Be aware that the universe will be attempting to get your attention. Follow your hunches (you may be compelled to read a book, stand in a certain line up at the grocery store, etc.).

Listen. Receive. Don’t discount the message even if you think it’s just your imagination. Repeat as often as you like!

Aynsley Saxe has been practicing Reiki since the year 2000 and is a registered Reiki Master/Teacher with the Canadian Reiki Association. As the founder of Open Essence, Aynsley facilitates private Reiki treatments, community Reiki shares, and dynamic Reiki workshops. Committed to living with purpose, passion and well-being, Aynsley inspires others to deepen their self-awareness through her engaging “Thought of the Month” columns. Visit www.openessence.ca for more information.

You & Prince Swagger: Outsmarting the Bad Guys…

By Kirti Holmes

When tireless lothario Jude Law recently declared that “women like bad boys…..being a good boy never worked for me,” I was reminded of my friend Jennie,* who a few months ago dumped her sensitive and romantic boyfriend in a microsecond, for someone who made a locker room of jocks look like a bunch of choir boys in comparison. Jennie’s fling lasted a grand total of three months but what a time it was, skipping out on obligations and routines for spur of the moment rendezvous and trysts at any time of the day or night, at places she had never before frequented. Life suddenly seemed more like an adventure playground instead of bland events and tasks.

This desire for newness in life is just one of the reasons why some women find themselves caught up in a whirlwind with an exciting, arrogant man who just doesn’t give a damn as he zealously pursues his own interests in life. The fact is, however, that relying on someone else to bring change, excitement, purpose or challenge to your life is not going to be as lasting and joyful as creating those things for yourself.

The following are the top four traits of a typical bad-guy (discovered in my counselling practice) and what your attraction to a Casanova can reveal about you:

* Excitement: Confident and cavalier, bad-guys appear to live life to the fullest, pursuing pleasure and adventure, ignoring rules and regulations.

What you may really be seeking is simply a break from routine. When tired and stressed, we tend to be more vulnerable to superficial diversions that seem to promise immediate excitement. Try creating more balance in your life; boredom and stress are symptoms of imbalance. Start now to pursue the dream that has been on the backburner for too long. Find out what inspires you, and then identify the steps to achieve them.

* Chosen one: Bad-guys have liaisons galore, and so they can take you or leave you. So you tell yourself that if he decides to take you, it must be because he recognizes something special in you, something uniquely attractive. Lord Byron, the famous eighteenth century poet, was a global cad and yet created the most romantic poetry ever written. But most bad guys are unromantic souls, and not interested in confirming your true worth.

Become fully aware of your own self-worth, in its entirety. This positive personal inventory takes effort at first for many women, but the moment will arrive when it becomes your effortless modus operandi.

* Haunting Mystery: When married German heiress Susanne Klatten met a cosmopolitan James Bond type whilst on vacation, she succumbed because his apparent sadness “stirred a feeling in me that we had something in common.” Unfortunately, he turned out to be a conning gigolo, more mercenary than melancholy.

Perhaps what you are seeking is an outlet for your nurturing side, or a sense of kinship for your own sadness – or both, as in Susanne’s case. About one in every four women experiences depression or anxiety at some time. Stay aware of how you are feeling and how your behaviour is being influenced by those emotions. Seek professional support when you need it. Make self-nurture one of your life-long priorities.

* Rebellious: Bringing the bad-guy home to meet the family would be like introducing them to Hugh Hefner. Lingering resentments from childhood can prompt such acts of defiance. Another reaction to family dysfunction is the constant seeking of approval and affirmation. Almost all behaviours have their roots in childhood, and resolving them can take time. Be patient and accepting of yourself. Keep in mind that resentments are burdens that weigh us down, so travel lightly and you will get much further.

Of course, there are many types of people that can be a challenge in our lives. When we hand power over our happiness to someone else, it is impossible to feel whole and authentic. Our inner compass will keep spinning, trying to point us back to a true sense of self-worth, which is always the starting point of all positive changes in life.

* Name changed

Kirti Holmes is a counsellor based in Toronto & Oakville. She can be reached at (416)605-5931 or info@kirtiholmes.com. Visit her website at www.kirtiholmes.com

Growers Are Inchworms

By Jeff Brown

I am often contacted by people who beat themselves up because they have not progressed on their spiritual journeys as quickly as they hoped. They are frustrated by their inability to embody their highest vision for themselves after only a few years, or even months, of determined effort. Quick fix, long suffering. Collapse

This week I invite you to be patient with your path. The personal journey I wrote about in “Soulshaping” took me six years to write and 45 years to live. From the moment I began my first wave of psychotherapy until now is nearly 20 years. And, still, at the end of all that genuine effort, the trails of transformation are no easy saunter. I still have a workaholic tendency, and a deep abandonment wound that arises when least expected.

This inspiration is a call to patience. Not the kind of patience that keeps us asleep (there are times when we need a karmic kick in the behind), but the kind that is compassionate and that sees our efforts to expand in a broader context. When my Grandfather would see me fail, he would see me with Grandpa eyes.

He would tell me that he loved me and remind me that those things I was attempting were not even imaginable when he was young. He recognized how extraordinary it was that I was considering a quest for my “true-path,” only decades after he would have taken ANY path that paid the bills. This was a valuable teaching, and served me often when I developed inhuman expectations for myself. He taught me the meaning of context.

I invite us to honor our bravery. Given that most of the world is still vibrating around survivalism, the simple fact that we have formed the intention to transform our consciousness is already courageous. When we actually make a leap of faith and set out for soulful waters, we have truly embarked on a heroic journey.

At the same time, let’s not expect too much, too fast. However eager we may be, we will invariably turn back to familiar harbors to ground and protect ourselves. The fall back to our habitual range of emotion is a natural part of the journey home. Like turtles, we stick our heads out until it becomes uncomfortable and then retreat to the safety and familiarity of our shells. The time we spend under the shell can be just what we need to weave new experiences into our usual ways of being. So long as we persist in sticking our heads back out a little further each time, we continue to grow. Three steps forward, two steps back is still progress…

And we must also remember that REAL change simply takes time. Growers are inchworms. Lasting transformation is an incremental process, one “soulstep” at a time. We can have all the peak experiences we want but the real work happens between the peaks, while laying down and integrating on the valley floor. This may frustrate us, but it is the only way to craft an awareness that is authentic and sustainable. Divine perspiration…

I remember a beautiful moment with my Grandmother before she died. She had often resisted my need to look at the past and deal with family baggage. It probably brought up her own unresolved memories. She often told me that I was involved in the therapeutic process for too long — “Get on with it, Jeffrey.” But, one day, she looked me in the eyes and said “You weren’t just doing this for you, Jeffrey. You were also doing it for me. I couldn’t look at these things in the world I lived in. You’re healing my pain, too.” And that said it all. Every step I took beyond the defenses and parameters of her world actually took my whole soulpod to the next level. All the more reason to take it slow. All the more reason to get it right.

The very fact that we are trying to heal our hearts in a world where so many have had to bury their hurt is already extraordinary. It may not seem like such a big deal, but when the energy has been moving in another direction for so many generations, it is quite a challenge to turn the tide. We are breaking new inner ground, after all. Recognizing this should translate into giving ourselves a break when we can’t quite get it perfect. So let’s see ourselves through Grandpa eyes, and breathe…

A former criminal lawyer and psychotherapist, Jeff Brown is the author of “Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation,” recently published by North Atlantic Books. Endorsed by authors Elizabeth Lesser and Ram Dass, “Soulshaping” is Brown’s autobiography — an inner travelogue of his journey from archetypal male warrior to a more surrendered path. You can connect with his work at www.soulshaping.com

Freedom

I just gobbled up a gripping novel called Shantaram. It was written by Gregory David Roberts, a convicted Australian bank robber who escaped from a maximum security penitentiary over the front wall. In his opening paragraph he writes:

“It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realized somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn’t sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it’s all you’ve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.”

Roberts’ choice, and the fact that he recognized that choice, really hit me. If he could feel free while chained to a wall and being tortured, why can’t we (and I’m definitely including myself in this one) feel free in everyday (sans-torture!) daily life?

I know I’m human. That’s for sure. Like many people, I’m chained to the weight of responsibilities and self-imposed expectations (financial, relational, emotional, familial, social, cultural, you-get-the-pointal). Feeling trapped is life-draining. Compared to sweet freedom it tastes bitter and putrid. However there are ways to sweeten the deal. I believe that each of us, no matter where we are standing or what we are sipping, can stir more freedom into our lives.

As Roberts’ epiphany declares, the heart of freedom comes down to choice. Each of us has a multitude of choices to make in our daily lives. We may not feel like we have big life-changing options 24-hours a day, like changing jobs or switching houses. But the deeper choices, the inner choices, the ones that really count, and the ones that we take with us wherever we go, are ours, always. For Roberts it was the choice between hating and forgiving his torturers. What inner choices are yours to make today?

Personally I think the trick is to be wide awake. Come on. Rise and shine. Let me see the whites of your eyes. Can you be conscience of the choice you are making?

Making choices isn’t always easy. I can say truthfully that I’ve resented when people have tried to show me a way out of my self-imposed prison. If I’m told by well meaning friends that I have a choice to feel better if I’m feeling lousy I really resent the voice telling me that! Some days I’m just not interested in hearing solutions. This is a choice. Some days I’m more content with my choice to endure pain or anger than to see any options. Sometimes it’s easier to stay in prison than to do the dirty work of forgiveness or releasing my anger to get out of jail free.

Life is not always sugar coated and sometimes the choices that are good for us are hard and not always easy to see. I like to try to make my choices based on the idea of relief. Does it feel better to listen or to speak? Does it feel better to run or stay? Does it feel better to forgive or get angry? You’re allowed to be both forgiving and angry. Your real authentic choices, the ones that will lead you out of the internal prison, come from the wisdom of your inner being rather than what your rational, moral mind thinks is obvious. Try to make your choice not because of what you’re afraid of, but based on the option that will be better for you in the long run, truly, madly, deeply. You do know what is best for you. Make your choice based on your highest opinion of yourself. Be conscious of your choice in the moment. If you don’t like the choice you’ve made, make another.

I hate telling you this (and don’t tell my family) but sometimes I relish my bad moods. I know it sounds crazy. I used to get really annoyed with myself for being in a stormy state but now, when I’m conscious of a dark cloud hanging overhead, I say to myself: “Ayns, you’re in a really bad mood right now and you’re totally allowed to be in this for as long as you like. I accept you for where you are right now. Go to it sister!” In the moment that I recognize the choice I find relief. I choose to accept myself where I am which feels like a tiny bit of sweet freedom compared to resisting my bad mood and being chained to it unwillingly.

In recognizing our choices we find where the heart of where freedom lives. We don’t have to change jobs, win a million dollars or travel the world to feel free. Remember that saying “Wherever you go, there are you.” All of our internal baggage (and sometimes it’s not just a carry-on bag folks) comes with us even if we win the jackpot and pack our bags for a world tour. Every single part of us moves forward to share any external environment, financial bracket, relationship, job or country we place ourselves in. There’s no running away. Sure we can distract ourselves, but that only sustains us for so long. That’s why it’s so important to look at our inner choices, the choices that will strengthen and lighten our daily lives.

The beauty of this journey through time and space is that we always get to make new choices. If you have the desire to recognize that you have choices to make you will experience freedom. Rise and shine my friend. Be wide awake. Then be wider awake. Ask for the choices to become obvious to you and they will. Sip on them and stir. Sweet freedom is a life Booster Juice.

Processes for reflection:

What choices are you making right now? Become conscious of them. Write down ten. Don’t worry about whether they are inner (emotional) or outer-life choices. Just write down whatever comes into your head. Be honest. These choices don’t have to be ones you’re proud of. They are what they are. Don’t be afraid of the pen and paper.

Look at the choices you’ve written down. Which one are you willing to look at more closely today? It should be one of your choices that you would like to change at this time.

Ask yourself where this choice has come from. Look at the history of the choice. Notice any patterns or fears. Write them all down. Keep writing until you’ve centred your heart and mind on this choice. Ask yourself now what choice you would rather make. This choice may bring you relief. This choice may feel like it will bring you more energy. Write down all the benefits you can think of for making this choice. Write down any fears you may have about making this choice. Allow yourself to imagine how it would feel to make this choice. If it feels right, follow your heart’s guidance toward any action steps you should take into this new choice.

Aynsley Saxe has been practicing Reiki since the year 2000 and is a registered Reiki Master/Teacher with the Canadian Reiki Association. As the founder of Open Essence, Aynsley facilitates private Reiki treatments, community Reiki shares, and dynamic Reiki workshops. Committed to living with purpose, passion and well-being, Aynsley inspires others to deepen their self-awareness through her engaging “Thought of the Month” columns. Visit www.openessence.ca for more information.

in praise of women: magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.

The uh, broadness, of my experience with the women throughout my life leaves me humble, optimistic, proud, and grateful. I’ve been screwed over by females in business and love, and I’ve planted a few landmines myself. But those enemy-making times were the results of bumbling, struggling humanness, not ovaries or hormones. We could argue the bio-instincts to procreate, protect and feed that spurs some nasty behavior from chicks, or about Queen Bees and Wanna-Bees — all very real social dynamics, but I’m here to give witness to the force of pure Goddess positivity that is the hallmark of my life. Word.

MY LIVED EXPERIENCE IS THAT WOMEN SIMPLY ADORE WOMEN:

: Women shake their cosmic pom poms. Go sister go! How many times has a girlfriend told you, that you got it going on, before your head out the door or the dressing room? That even though your new haircut makes you look like a mushroom, your ass looks grrreat. They’ll be looking at your ass all night, not your hair. Really, you’re hot. Just keep your hat on and don’t sit down. Go get ‘em.

: A woman makes a cup of her heart. She carries your concerns and fears with you, for you. When your eyes fill up with teary news, so do hers. It happens with women you’ve known for years, with women you just met at the grocery store, in the ladies room, in a prayer circle. She carries your story with her. She mixes honey with it and re-tells it to you and helps you notice how great you’re doing, in spite of everything, because of everything.

: Women bear their fangs for you. Like when Tammy threatened to butt her cigarette out between buddy’s eyebrows if he didn’t leave us alone. He walked, we rocked.

: Women feed each other – literally and figuratively. Think of all the meetings or retreats you’ve been to. Who brings the cocoa and sparkling water? Who remembers that you’re lactose intolerant? Who asks you if you have everything you need?

: A woman will sacrifice without calling it a sacrifice. Leila was three months pregnant. I was moving cross-country (again.) Road trip anyone? We U-hauled our way from Seattle to Santa Fe with Leila coughing her cookies at every truck stop. I made it to my desert home and she flew back to the coast. And named her little girl Phoebe Danielle.

: Women hold on. It’s like Audrey Hepburn said, “Never throw anyone out.” It’s like my soul sister Donna says, “We’re all bozos on the same bus so just go with it.” Meep meep.

: Women bypass history. A good sister listens to you bitch about the same jerk for years, she helps you pack when you’re smart enough to leave, and she stands by you when you repeat the same lesson with the next emotionally lame lover. She loves you enough to let you do it your way – again, and again, like it was the first time. No drama is too big for big women.

: A woman howls to help you remember what matters the most. She loves you enough to intervene. She will drag you out of your comfort zone and into the moonlight to say “What the fuck are you doing? You may have temporarily forgotten who you are, but I haven’t and I’m hear to remind you.” Like when Karen told me over green tea, “D, maybe it’s all about the divine feminine for you, maybe that’s the question to live. It’s time to move on from playing small.” Arooooo!

: Women touch you. Michelle and I went to visit a friend in the hospital recovering from surgery. Miche brought lavender lotion and massaged Friend’s feet while she lay achy and groggy. I’ll never forget that stunning moment of loving service.

: Women push. Push babies out, push babies into the world. Baby ideas. Baby thought forms. Baby parts of you. “But Danielle, it’s just a thought-form that you ‘can’t take more,’” Navjit told me. “Don’t constrict. Expand.” Boundaries, pushed.

: Women know how to navigate the layers because they love the layers. Folds of skin, the sediments of time, the stories that build into the present. Like how Candis not only remembers what I love but knows why I love it. She is reverent, keen, actively interested in the why of me – and that is what it means to be witnessed by a woman. Word.

Danielle LaPorte is the creator of www.whitehottruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality & business” and lead author of Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design. She is the former Director of a think tank for futures studies, ran her own communications agency to promote Nobel Prize winners and a few old pop stars, and now works one-on-one with her signature Fire Starter sessions to help entrepreneurs rock their careers and creativity. Featured in Elle, Body + Soul, Vogue Australia, Better Homes & Gardens, Globe & Mail, The National Post and Entertainment Tonight, Danielle is based in Vancouver BC.

Release

I leaned against a very large tree the other day. I molded my entire back into its skin. I connected with its bark (not bite) and felt its deep, unwavering stability. It supported me fully and easily. It was a really good feeling.

This time of year the leaves are letting go. Their beautiful colours float downward and rest in the earth. Nature teaches us that releasing control is natural. So why do I (and maybe you?) find letting go tricky?

Do you ever attempt to control situations? Have you ever thought this: “If it’s not done by me it won’t be done right”? What about the things you really care about? What about the circumstances where you would be devastated if they didn’t work out the way you preferred?

Right before leaning against that big old tree, I was in a controlling mood. I was knee-deep in projects that I was trying to stay on top of. I was sinking fast while trying to figure out how to do everything quickly and immaculately well. I wanted 100% control over every aspect of the projects including the process and people involved with them. I had a bone in my teeth that I wouldn’t let go of. It was all because of her: my inner drill sergeant.

Luckily for the people in my life my inner drill sergeant doesn’t often bother others (except those closest to me). Usually she just harasses me: “What do you mean you want a nap Aynsley?? You have stuff to do! Now get back to work!” When my inner drill sergeant calls the shots she’s really tough to be around. I can’t say I like this woman.

The quickest way out is always through, so I took a walk and ended up beside a magnificent tree. I leaned against it and started to listen (not to her). I listened to the sky and to my inner self. I breathed in the autumn air and heard that I was scared. I heard that my tendency toward trying to control situations (projects, events, meetings, you name it), and my desire to want to make everything perfect, was covering up a deep fear. This fear related to my sense of self-worth.

I realized that my sense of self-worth was tied to project completions and achievements. I was afraid to fail, I was scared to not live up to my own standards and I was worried that others would think less of me if I stumbled. But the kicker was that I was mostly scared because I thought that if I did not live up to my own expectations, *I* would be nothing. No wonder I felt the need to control outcomes!

It’s not always fun to listen deeply. But I strongly believe that it’s harder not to. I could have kept up the rat race by attempting to control my unconscious fear by finishing projects quickly. But I would have only repeated the cycle with the next project. Instead, I took a deep breath and decided to look inward – which made me feel vulnerable and very human. And yet, I also felt strong and clear when I realized what I was dealing with.

I know that having high standards for myself isn’t terrible. I like doing things to the best of my abilities and I’m sure other people can relate. But I’ve learned that my efforts need to be grounded in love, for myself and for my projects, not driven by fear-based motivations. I’ve learned that when I start to hear that rigid woman marching inside me I’ve got to stop, breathe and let go. I’ve also decided that one day soon I’m going to do something really badly just to show myself I’ve got permission to!

I wish I was able to integrate a complete sense of my true self-worth overnight. Unfortunately our bodies live in a time-space continuum and it’s not always easy to undo beliefs that we’ve accumulated over decades. But I’ve started the journey. Even in the midst of the hustle and bustle I’m going to gently remind myself that my worth is not tied to anything. I’m going to remember the message of the tree: “Let go. Be supported. You can be still and be worthy.” Projects, life, and well pretty much everything is so much easier knowing my worth is immeasurable. So is yours.

Processes for reflection:

Take a walk. Breathe in the air. Let the wind revive you and lean up against a tree. Really lean against it with your full weight. I like to do this while standing but you can also sit against it with your back to it if you like. If you sit you will notice that you will also feel supported by the ground.

Imagine giving your cares and problems to the tree. Experience how good it feels to let the tree support you so easily and effortlessly. Ask for answers if you would like them. Breathe in and out and let your mind focus on your breathing.

Listen. Listen. Listen. Just continue breathing and letting your mind drift. Or if possible keep your mind focused on your breathing. Notice your feelings. Absorb any answers or impressions that come to you. Acknowledge everything. Then imagine your mind as lighter, carefree. Let your mind feel like the wind through the trees. Notice how you feel after your tree session (and don’t forget to thank the tree for being with you).

Bonus Process

The next time you’re caught in a controlling mood, stop. Become aware of where you are. Don’t try to stop your desire for control, just note where you are. How does it feel? Where is your need for control stemming from? Look deeper. What is your need for control covering up? What other part of you wants to be heard? Listen gently. Be kind to yourself.

Aynsley Saxe has been practicing Reiki since the year 2000 and is a registered Reiki Master/Teacher with the Canadian Reiki Association. As the founder of Open Essence, Aynsley facilitates private Reiki treatments, community Reiki shares, and dynamic Reiki workshops. Committed to living with purpose, passion and well-being, Aynsley inspires others to deepen their self-awareness through her engaging “Thought of the Month” columns. Visit www.openessence.ca for more information.

eat your mistakes whole

“There’s no such thing as a mistake.” Ha!

This is one of my favourite New Age doozers. Puhleez. Like, getting hosed because you didn’t get it in writing wasn’t a major drag. And spilling your friend’s secret to the wrong person burnt that bridge to a crisp. Or not saying “yes!” to the one that got away – well, THAT sucked. There are such things as mistakes. Major eff-ups and human stupidity happens to the best of us. The rest of us are in denial.

And yes, yes, mistakes are positively divine, each one moves us forward – even the ones that flip your world upside down. I’ve never made a mistake that I didn’t learn to love. But before we spiritualize and shellac the error of our ways, it’s incredibly useful to put our faux pas under the microscope. It’s liberating. It’s grown up. It’s dignified. And best of all, once you see your mistakes for what they are – you are more certain to good and truly move on!

Give it a go: Admit to your mistakes. Just admit it. No one else is listening. Make a pathetic, grizzly list of all the “sooo should not have’s” in your life. Don’t resist it. Clean house! (I’ll go first: should not have done a 50/50 deal with X, should not have shared the news that G’s wife was having an affair with his…sister, should not have struck a “creative control” deal with last publisher, should not have gotten B’s name tattooed on my ass.)

I wager that rather than feeling grossed out, you might get kind of giddy – eventually. You could feel the rush of knowing better, the delight of being the wiser for your wear. A subtle sense of compassion may start wafting into your being. Okay, maybe you still feel like a total dork. But find solace in your maturity. Because it takes courage to look your life squarely in the eye and admit your humanity. Humility clears the path to higher knowing…or a good laugh.

Danielle LaPorte is the creator of www.whitehottruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality & business” and lead author of Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design. She is the former Director of a think tank for futures studies, ran her own communications agency to promote Nobel Prize winners and a few old pop stars, and now works one-on-one with her signature Fire Starter sessions to help entrepreneurs rock their careers and creativity. Featured in Elle, Body + Soul, Vogue Australia, Better Homes & Gardens, Globe & Mail, The National Post and Entertainment Tonight, Danielle is based in Vancouver BC.

Conquer Fears in the Way of Dreaming the Big Dream

As we walk along our path in life, it can be easy to get into the comfort of our routine, denying our deepest desires. In dreaming the big dream, many of us struggle because our fears come creeping in. Instead we either make small goals or we fail to dream at all. I am going to dare to you claim what you want, despite the fear or as I like to call it… your monsters! It is time to conquer those fears in the way of dreaming the big dream. Are you ready?

Now, when claiming the dream, 2 things to keep in mind:

1. If the dream doesn’t scare you, it is not big enough

2. You should not know the HOW of how it will manifest itself.

Here are the top 4 fears aka monsters that may appear:

1. “What happens if I fail it at?”

Dare to live the dream. Keep focused on the end result. Ask the universe/inner knowing for guidance and signs. Take action when you get it, even if it doesn’t make sense (and it probably will not). Reflect and learn the lessons as you go so you don’t keep repeating the same pattern. And if you don’t achieve it right away, at least you are much closer than you were a year ago. Keep going and it is just a matter of time.

2. “What happens if I tell people what I am going to do and it doesn’t manifest? I don’t want to be embarrassed or look stupid”

What is more important? Conforming to limiting beliefs of others so you can be accepted and then being miserable that you aren’t living your dreams? OR Daring to stand out from the crowd (in which case you will attract new friends who DO have more open beliefs) and having a shot at living your purpose and being happy?

3. “I am afraid to dream because I have been disappointed in the past.”

That is the past. You do not have to keep repeating it. Instead of seeing these as disappointments, start to ask yourself these questions, “What did I learn from those experiences? How can I do things differently this time?”

4. “I think it is impossible.”

Every time you think this thought, ask yourself these questions, “Has anyone else is this world, achieved what I want? Has anyone else had major obstacles to overcome, but still found a way to achieve success? Has there ever been a time in my life when I felt like I was trapped or something was impossible, but somehow in the end it all worked out?” Journal your responses and review them whenever you have doubt.

Okay now dare to claim the dream. When those monsters appear, acknowledge and kiss them goodbye. You can accomplish anything!

Cindy Ashton, author of Kiss Your Monsters Goodbye, was recently featured in Performance Magazine alongside President Obama, Donald Trump and Tony Robbins. Having conquered life threatening chronic illness, she now empowers others to overcome their obstacles despite any odds against them. In presenting keynote speeches, interactive seminars and motivational concerts across North America, Cindy combines her extensive backgrounds in performing, education and kinesiology with her own real life experience. www.cindyashton.com

Live Life to the Fullest – The Importance of Self Growth

Life can quickly go from steady and predictable to fast-paced and stressed in a matter of minutes. As our life evolves, so must we! Whether it is your personal life or work life, self growth and self improvement is an important route to helping you deal with the stress of change and instead accept the natural life alterations ahead.

Self growth is about being true to yourself and thinking about what your main priorities in life should be. It is about learning new skills, knowledge and ways to help you get ahead personally and professionally. When you invest in self growth and self improvement, you also invest in your future and gain the confidence and inner strength required to take you to the peak of success and happiness.

Of course priorities change as time marches on, and so examining your goals and priorities on a regular basis will help paint a clear picture of where you wish to be and how you can use your abilities to your best advantage. Here are five tips to help you better understand yourself and help you lead your life to the fullest.

Be Positive!

Having a positive attitude and outlook on life is extremely important for self growth and self improvement. Negative and positive experiences are a part of life, and it is important to learn from each experience we encounter. For example, if you attempted to open a small business and failed miserably, don’t let that experience deter you from trying again. What you should do is learn from the mistakes you made with that business to help you succeed with the next.

Learn from the Past

The last point brings me to this one. Learn from past choices to help you improve yourself for the future. If everything we did in life lead to perfection, we wouldn’t be learning anything would we? Life would actually be quite boring! I personally feel that in order to succeed, you must fail. Of course this doesn’t have to mean failing miserably, but making mistakes and learning from them is a part of a fulfilling life and important to the self growth process.

One Step at a Time

Yes multi tasking is a fantastic skill, but you do risk losing focus, attention and interest in all by the end. The problem with multi tasking is that if you take on too much, you burn out. Take one goal or project at a time and learn from it. Once you complete one goal or project, go on to the next. For example, if you have made it your goal to learn the power of social media marketing, begin by signing up for one social networking site. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn; learning one site first will help you become familiar with the world of social media, and gain valuable contacts who can then help you learn what else is available when you are ready.

Listen to Others

Sometimes self growth begins with the growth story of another. Yes you read that correctly!  Every person around us has a story and it can benefit ourselves to hear their story. If you dream of opening a small business, seek the advice of someone who has. This person will have learned from common mistakes and will help steer you in the right direction. You will be able to gain new information and valuable advice to help you grow into the small business owner you hope to be.

Welcome Change with Open Arms

When you change, you grow. It’s that simple. And when you know how to accept change and grow with change, you are well on your way to personal responsibility and success.

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AUTHOR BIO

Serena Carcasole is a certified Internet Marketing Specialist, business consultant and the President of Virtual Business Solutions ON DEMAND, a premier virtual assistance firm helping entrepreneurs around the world to succeed and grow their businesses. In addition to administrative services, Virtual Business Solutions ON DEMAND provides a host of specialized technical and marketing outsourcing options to meet business owners’ unique needs. Some of the most popular services include Internet marketing through social networks, blogging, and article marketing; website and graphic design; search engine optimization support.

As a full-service outsourcing provider, VBSOnDemand provides full project management support for even the most complicated projects. VBSOnDemand donates 1% of profits to the Canadian Cancer Society. For more information:

Website: http://www.vbsondemand.com

Tel: 905-915-1203

Email: info @ vbsondemand. com

Your 1STOP Business Service Shop – Outsource your way to success!

AUTHORS NOTE

Newsletter publishers are invited to reprint this article in its entirety, including author’s bio and copyright information.  Please send a copy of your reprint.  www.vbsondemand.com/contact

To Believe…

To believe is to know that every day

is a new beginning.

It is to trust that miracles happen,

and dreams really do come true.

To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,

To know the wonder of a stardust sky

and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,

The innocence of a child’s eyes

and the beauty of an aging hand,

for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength

and courage that lies within us.

When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know we are not alone,

That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know that wonderful surprises

are just waiting to happen,

And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe.

(Author Unknown)

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