Are you about to slow down?

Many people talk about slowing down over the summer months. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I just don’t have the luxury of taking it easy for 2 full months every year. My business needs me. So instead of slowing down, I end up working hard(er) all summer to plan and strategize for the fall. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I actually enjoy it. I move my computer outside so I can stil get some fresh air and don’t feel cooped up. I take a few breaks. And with some many people away, I seem to be able to get tons done. Think about it – the summer months are the PERFECT time to grow your list, give your website a little make-over, create a couple of info products or start working on your book. What about you  - do you slow down or rev up? What are some of your favourite things to support your business over the summer months?

When I Say NO I feel FABULOUS!

Please complete this sentence: When I say NO, I feel ________.

Whenever I post this question to on Facebook or Twitter, the answer is usually “Guilty”.

Oy. Why do so many women have such a hard time saying “no” and feeling ok about it? Why Do we beat ourselves up and end up feeling bad – when all we’re often doing is protecting our boundaries?

Trust me, I know how hard it is. I’ve also struggled withthis in the past. But having children was a great exercise in learning to say NO. So is having a social business where I was being asked to have “my brain picked” more often than I cared.

I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated about being spread too thin. Something had to change. I had to learn to make some choices and walk away from the rest.

You know what I realized? No one really suffered when I turned them down. Most people understood and moved on. The sun rose the next day. But I felt more empowered and in control of my life. Phew!

Here’s the thing: When you say NO to others, you’re saying YES to yourself! Think about that for a second.

Also, remember – you’re saying “no” to the request, not the person.

And, and…

You know exactly what you need to do and why. It’s time to start putting it to practice.

So - what are you going to say a powerful NO to today?

Practise this: => When I say NO, I feel FABULOUS!

How’s that balance thing working for you?

Balance Shmalance. I know I’ll get some flack about this, but I think work-life balance is a myth. A mirage that keeps most women feeling guilty and frustrated…Unless you’re a highly organized and structured person, I think it’s better to go with the flow – and then take some time off when you can. Yes, sometimes you may have to step away to come up for air, regroup and refocus. And yes, it’s probably a good idea to maintain some level of self-care (sleep, diet, exercise) so that you’re not burning out. Keeping in touch with loved ones is also highly recommended. But other than that, it’s all fair game as far as I’m concerned.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t always keep up with my manis-pedis. I don’t take as much time off as some other people I know (at least not yet). And I’ve had to give up many opportunities to go out with friends. So what? I’m doing what I LOVE! How many people can honestly say that? There’s no guilt, zero resentment and only joy. Yes, you can have it ALL. No, you can’t have it all at the same time. So quit feeling guilty about what you’re not doing. Celebrate your accomplishments. Let go of the rest.  Enjoy the ride!

I know you’re fabulous, but…

I’m curious – do you ever find yourself doubting that you have “it”? Do you question whether you’re worthy of good things coming your way? Do you secretly worry that you don’t have what it takes to be successful, attract the right love/biz partner? Do you feel like a fraud – waiting to get caught?

If you’re like most women – then the answer is probably (and sadly) a yes. At least some of the time, anyway. Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret here; I struggle with those same issues, doubs and fears. We all do. The question is not how to eliminate that negative self-talk completely, but how to manage it so it doesn’t take over our lives. So what do you say to yourself when you find yourself dealing with those inner gremlins? What do you do to reconnect with your fabulous self and regain your confidence?

We all have different ways, of course. For me, it’s some variation of hot yoga + long walk + connecting with friends + herbal tea + jazz + chocolate! Whatever it is, take a time out for YOU – be gentle and patient with yourself – and remember this beautiful quote from Leonard Cohen: There is a crack in everything, thats how the light gets in. 

If you could use a little reminder of your fabulousness on some days, you might want to download the Positive Fabulous Women Manifesto - a beautiful poster that we put together with contributions from many of the women in our community. It’s free, so just click HERE, download, print and enjoy!

If you need more reminders, then connect with some of the amazing, authentic, passionate women in our community – they totally get it. And they will get you, I promise! You can like our Facebook Page and engage in the conversation, come out to a live Toronto event, participate in a #PFWChat on Twitter or join us for one of our monthly (and free) teleclasses.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you m’dear. It’s YOUR life, YOUR dreams and YOUR desires – so you have a choice of just hoping and wishing – or you can take big action and make things happen! I say it’s time we rock ‘n roll!!

I hit the wall!

Let me tell you how I “celebrated” my Mother’s Day. I was coming in the house with a couple of bags in my hands when I tripped and slammed my face against the stone wall. Hard. Ouch is right. Here I am – an adult over the age of 40 (ahem), and I started crying (yes it hurt a LOT). My parents were panicking, my teenage kids running around with icepacks….what a scene! I was a bit shook up, but eventually calmed down and we actually had a nice afternoon. I’m now left with a couple of cuts and scratches, some bruising and spraining - but I’m ok otherwise. Phew!

So why am I telling you all this, you ask? Well (a) I could use a bit of your sympathy (b) to let you know that stuff happens to everyone - positive fabulous women included! It’s part of life. Sometimes we’re on a path that feels right – but things just don’t quite work out the way we’d intended for them. Or like in my case – we hit the wall! Bam.

But you know what set positive fabulous men & women apart? We don’t shrivel in the face of adversity. We tend to our aches and pains, allow it time to heal and then we get up, dust ourselves off and get on with our lives and to pursuing our goals.

So whether you’re being challenged in your personal life or with your business right now – remember your WHY. Connect with that big juicy bodacious dream of yours. Find the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can do it!

In good company

I just got back from San Diego last a few days ago, where I got to spend 3 days with Mari Smith and the fabulous members of the Business & Beyond Club that I’m a part of this year. Great learning, awesome connections and a fun time was had by all. Mari was recently named by Forbes Magazine as the 3rd most influential woman on social media – she is a perfect role model of a heart-centred leader who is totally passionate and authentic while building a hugely successful business.

Being up close and personal with someone like Mari was a great reminder that we don’t have to follow the pack to achieve the results we desire – in life or in business. Personally, I find that so refreshing and inspiring. Mari does things her way – totally down to earth, incredibly vulnerable and always keeping her values and integrity at the core of everything she does. That’s what I’m set to creating – and hope you stay with me on this journey as we take PFW to the next level. So exciting….

Stay fabulous!

Surfing the waves

Do you ever feel like you’re surfing through life? That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling for the last few months. I kept telling myself that calm waters are coming, I fought back and kept losing hold of hte surfboard. Yet the waves kept coming. Some were manageable - others a bit more challenging. Recently, I have (finally) come to the place where I’ve embraced and accepted the fact that I’m a pretty good surfer. I may not always enjoy it, but it is what it is. So for now, I’m going with the flow and riding the waves, one at a time. I feel a sense of freedom and peace, now that I’ve let go and embraced the murky waters.

I was sharing this with a friend today, and she sent me this beautiful quote, which I thought I’d share with you:

Life is a wave. Your attitude is your surfboard. Stay stoked & aim for the light!
- Drew Kampion

How about you? Do you enjoy surfing – or keep resisting what is? Please write and share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear them!

The First Step

As many of you know, I launched PFW 4 years ago (last week!) with no business plan, little research & limited vision. I just knew I had to do this, so I took the first step – not knowing where it would lead. I trusted my intuition and believed in my gut feeling. I have never, ever, looked back!

As we’re starting off a brand-new year, I invite you to listen to your heart and open yourself up to possibilities. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to do, just take that first step. You’ll know if you want to continue on that path, or simply take a step back (it’s totally okay you know). Trust that little voice and let go of the need to have total clarity and complete control. Embrace change, lean into the discomfort and accept ambiguity. It’s scary, but exhilirating!

You don’t have to see the whole staircase – just take that first step. As Mark Twain said, 20 years from now, you’re likely to be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do (even if you failed).

So just do it!!

Reflecting Back on 2011

Phew, only a few weeks left in 2011 – how did that happen?

A few people have asked me lately how this year was for me. My response has been “it’s been interesting”. While things may have looked the same on the outside, I’ve actually experienced some major shifts, many of which could be described as negative; business challenges, relationship heartbreak, the end of few old friendships, a sense of disconnection, lack of clarity, overwhelm, financial difficulties. I could go on, but you get the picture.

Somehow, I have managed to just lean into the pain. Rather than resist and deny, I’ve accepted and allowed each and every one of of my “negative” emotions like an old friend. No judgement. Eventually they leave, one by one.

What I’m left with is a profound feeling of peace and calm. I have more big/bold/juicy/deep/clear sense of of purpose, passion, energy, commitment, hope and focus. It rocks!

To quote Gandhi, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” I can honestly say that I’ve never been more clear on who I am, what I stand for, and why I’m here on this planet. And anything or anyone that doesn’t support my vision has to go. Yes, I know it sounds harsh, but it needs to be done.

So for me, 2011 hasn’t been the most easy, sweet, fun fabulous year – but I’m so very grateful for everything & everyone that has come & gone out of my life. To use one of my favourite phrases: It’s all good!

I’m home.

K.

Orlando here we come!

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a local Chevrolet dealer, Roy Foss, and asked if I’d be interested in doing an extended test drive for the new Orlando and in return offer some comments and feedback to them via my my blog. I’d never done anything like this before, but thought it would be fun to try a new set of wheels for few days – so I accepted.

Let me tell you, driving someone else’s car is a bit like cooking in your neighbour’s kitchen – you know everything is there – somewhere –  but you just can’t find them right away. Luckily my 14 year-old son was quick to figure things out and before we knew it we were zipping along the roads.

To give you a bit of background, I’ve been driving foreign sedans for the past 10+ years – so a domestic SUV was quite the change. I was concerned that this 7-seater would be bulky, that it fit into my single- car garage and would be a hassle to park – not to mention be a gas guzzler. to my surprise, I was wrong on all counts. I found the Orlando to be super fun to drive, great on gas – and yes even fit in my small garage.

My 86-year-old father initially complained that the seats weren’t as cushy as what he was accustomed to, found that getting in & out of the car much easier on his back & joints than a sedan, so he was a content (phew!). My teenage boys found the shape of the vehicle a bit boxy, but once inside, they raved about the legroom in the back seats. There was lots for me to like – from a convenient cubby hole tucked behind the radio controls, to a super handy child-view mirror and a highly-visual Driver Information Centre.

So after four days of driving the Chevy Orlando, I’d definitely give it a thumbs-up and would recommend it to any family looking for a practical, compact-yet-spacious vehicle that’s fun to drive, easy-to-park and even gentle on your wallet.

Can you say fabulous?

PS. Aside from having the vehicle for 4 days, I was not compensated for any part of my involvement with Roy Foss, and was not given any restrictions or direction about what this post contains.

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